featuring Stith Keiser and Kate Crumley, DVM, MS | Blue Heron Consulting

Every veterinary professional has had a day derailed by a tough client interaction or tension among colleagues. Whether it’s an aggressive remark, a misunderstanding, or a miscommunication rooted in stress, these moments can be draining. But with the right mindset, tools, and techniques, it’s possible to improve outcomes—for everyone involved.

Difficult interactions are inevitable, but you can improve the outcome of some of these interactions, which will improve your day-to-day work life as well as the experiences of your clients and team.

The Emotional Toll of Challenging Interactions

Rude comments. Unfair assumptions. Disconnected compassion. When clients are upset—or simply unkind—it hurts. Especially when you’re doing your best.

“It can be a little crushing when you know you’ve done a good job and the other person still isn’t happy.”

What makes these moments harder is that they often hit when you’re already emotionally spent—after a euthanasia, during a staff shortage, or while managing your own personal stress. It’s no wonder these interactions can feel overwhelming.

Reframing Our Mindset: The Power of Assumption Awareness

It’s easy to jump to conclusions. But assuming the worst about someone’s behavior can escalate a situation instead of resolving it. Reframing begins by offering others the benefit of the doubt.

“Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have.”

Whether it’s a client grieving the loss of a pet or a colleague quietly struggling with a personal crisis, there’s usually more to the story than meets the eye. Treating others as their best selves, rather than reacting to the moment’s frustration, opens the door to better outcomes.

The Client Is an Individual—Not an Aggregate

Repetition can lead to complacency. If you’ve had to explain heartworm prevention 15 times in a single day, it’s easy to approach the 16th client with less patience.

“I remind myself—I haven’t had this conversation with this client today.”

Each client is an individual, not an average of every frustrating conversation you’ve had before. Pausing to reset between appointments helps avoid transferring stress from one interaction to the next.

From Assumption to Education: Asking the Right Questions

Miscommunication often stems from assuming a client knows something they don’t. Instead of making assumptions, ask open-ended questions like:

  • “What do you know about heartworm disease?”
  • “What’s your biggest concern right now?”
  • “How can I help you feel more comfortable with this decision?”

This curiosity can transform a conversation. One clinician shared a moment when a long-time client—never compliant with heartworm prevention—finally admitted he didn’t know what heartworms were. With education came understanding, compliance, and trust.

Reflective Listening: A Simple but Powerful Tool

Reflective listening means paraphrasing what someone says and repeating it back to confirm understanding. It’s one of the fastest ways to:

  • De-escalate tension
  • Ensure clarity
  • Build rapport

When clients (or colleagues) feel heard, they’re more likely to stay calm and collaborative—even in tough conversations.

Tips for Practicing Reflective Listening:

  • Listen to understand, not to respond
  • Avoid interrupting
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Restate what you heard before responding

When Things Do Escalate: How to Respond with Intention

Not every challenging interaction can be defused in the moment. When escalation feels inevitable, professionalism, pause, and posture matter.

Techniques for Handling Escalation:

  • Take a break: Step away to gather your thoughts before re-engaging.
  • Reframe your body language: Uncross your arms, soften your expression.
  • Use non-confrontational language: “Could we talk over here?” or “Please help me understand…”
  • Recognize your stress signals: Elevated heart rate, tight chest, shallow breathing—notice them early and regulate your response.
  • Write it out: If you’re not ready to talk, jot down your thoughts first.

“Even a simple ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ in the middle of a tough conversation can make a big difference.”

The Impact of Hospital Culture on Communication

The energy of your workplace is contagious. A hospital culture that values respect, humor, and mutual support creates an environment where tough conversations are easier to navigate.

“People can feel when a team works well together—and they trust you more because of it.”

From music in the treatment area to team Slack memes, sushi nights, and shared laughter, a positive team dynamic doesn’t just improve morale—it improves client interactions.

The Root of Many Challenges: Cost of Care

Few topics are as emotionally charged as finances. When clients can’t afford care, tensions rise quickly. But the frustration isn’t just theirs—it’s the staff’s too.

“We didn’t fail as clinicians—we failed to educate early enough.”

Proactive conversations about pet insurance, wellness plans, and financial preparedness can help prevent heartbreaking choices down the road. Equipping your team to have these discussions early and often can reduce burnout and build trust with clients.

Proactive Tools for Success

At the heart of all these strategies is intentional communication. Whether it’s using reflective listening, reframing your mindset, or being proactive about finances, the tools are available—you just need to start using them.

Final Thoughts: Positivity Is Contagious

You can’t control every client or colleague you encounter. But you can control how you respond, how you assume, and how you recover.

“Positivity starts with your voice, your posture, and your mindset.”

Sometimes it’s as simple as offering compassion instead of judgment. Other times, it’s stepping away for a moment to breathe. Either way, you’re building a habit—and a culture—of resilience.